YOU ARE VALUABLE JUST BECAUSE YOU EXIST…
I have seen many people (including myself in the past) have difficulty accepting this fact that they inherently have value. They create value to the people around them, to the world around them.
So let’s have a look at what a high value person or a high value woman is? I have seen a lot of content that circulating around the internet on this topic but honestly I don’t agree with all of it. Because I feel it attaches our value to the external things, about how we look, how much money we have.
Here, I will be sharing what I believe makes a woman, a high value woman. (Keep this in mind that this is merely the writer’s own perception and insight she developed in her process of learning).
Now what do I really mean when I say ‘Become a High Value Woman’?
I mean that you know your value, you know your self worth, you have that self confidence and the integrity to go after your dreams, desires and needs without having to rely on anybody else to give you validation and to provide the value to you.
Let’s just dive into the details.
1. Respect Yourself.
Having respect for your body, mind, needs, time is the most essential trait. Because everything else is based of your sense of self respect. You can tell if somebody respects themselves by looking at their behavior. Mostly such women would be confident, assertive and resilient. They will have relationships but also the boundaries in pressured situations. Unfortunately if we historically look at our parents generation, our grandparents generation, the value of women was attached to their husbands, society and so on and so far. As a result, the women of earlier generations lacked boundaries, had low confidence, they felt like they have never achieved anything and they were always in the people pleasing zone’
This is the zone we don’t need to be in. This is what we need to break. We need to break this cycle. We have the resources, we have the knowledge to break this down.
A simple example is that, if I respect my time, I won’t let anybody waste it. I would spend it on something that benefits me.
The other example can be, if someone is not treating me right, I respect myself enough to walk away.
2. Regulating our Emotions.
As a woman, our emotions can be our biggest strength as well as our biggest weakness. It’s us, who choose how to use them. Because emotions are basically the signals from our body in order to respond to a particular situation. It’s how we act on those emotions, that determines whether these emotions are actually good or bad for us.
Someone who doesn’t know how to regulate their emotions, reacts impulsively. But someone who knows how to regulate their emotions will take a rational approach and that is what a high value woman do. They are able to keep a check on their reactions and are not triggered 24/7.
There is something that we can try to regulate our emotions. That is ‘Taking a pause’. Taking a little pause before reacting to any situation initially requires a little practice but once we develop a habit of it, it becomes more natural.
For example if you have an argument with your partner, you freaked out and you want to say something. Just take a small pause, take few deep breaths and in that period you are basically signalling to your brain that this is not a threat, this is not ‘fight or flight’ response and I can react to it rationally because this is not something that is putting my life into danger. Bu doing this, you will definitely notice that you are able to respond in a much better way.
High value woman always have this power over her emotions. It’s not your mind ruling you, it’s you ruling your mind.
3. Being Kind and Empathetic.
I came across a quote, which became my favourite one, states that,
“In a world, where you can be anything,
Be Kind.”
-Jennifer Dukes Lee
Sadly, we don’t see a lot of kindness in this world, we see the world getting less and less kind day by day. But luckily, women, especially, have the power to change that. Researches have shown that, Women’s brains are primed to be kinder are compared to the men brains. (I am not discriminating here, but this is what the biology says)
Studies have also shown that when doing act of kindness, it activates the reward system in our brain, which means we find it more rewarding and we want to do it again and again.
If we look at this from energy perspective, Kindness, Compassion, Empathy help us getting in tuned to our feminine and nurturing side. Often when we are in a hustle zone, (when we are going out to achieve the goals), we are more in our masculine energy. But when we start practicing kindness and compassion, it helps us to balance our masculine and feminine energies.
The other psychological studies have also shown that the act of kindness has a direct relation with our mental health, emotional regulation, and with our sense of self.
Besides the studies, I have personally noticed that being kind and compassion allows us to shift our focus from being very self cantered to out there in the world. It allows to see a lot of different perspectives and different ways the people deals with their situations. It actually helps us deal better in our own lives.
4. Being Confident.
A high value woman is being confident in her own self. She doesn’t need any external validation her beauty, her achievements, her looks and everything that defines her self worth. It’s quite simple to understand because if the sense of self is coming from external validation, it will crumble with one negative comment.
This actually ties in with the point about self respect because “you cannot be confident with your own skin unless you respect yourself.”
Remember, life is more beautiful and a lot more easier when we are not criticizing ourselves and when we look ourselves with love and respect rather than bringing ourselves down. It doesn’t mean that our insecurities and flaws instantly go away but it means that we are not dragging down with them. We know our insecurities are the part of us but our the whole identity.
5. Becoming Self Aware.
Self awareness is perhaps is the most important path of our self growth journey. A high value woman knows what her strengths are, what her weaknesses are.
We can’t change anything about our lives if we are not first aware of the issue. But if we are aware of what drives us, where our strength drives us, what our weaknesses are we can actually tune in into our strengths and weaknesses to create a reality that we want for ourselves.
6. Integrity and Honesty
If we look at the things from energy perspective, there are two types of behaviour in the world. One is low vibrational behaviour and the second is high vibrational behaviour. Low vibrational behaviours are the ones that pulls us down.
Things like jealousy, gossiping, lying, bringing other people down are examples of low vibrational behaviour. When we indulge in these behaviours, we also bring our energy level, our perspective and our sense of self worth along with these actions.
On the other hand, things like honesty, integrity, kindness, compassion, love are the examples of high vibrational behaviours that elevate our self concept and other people perception of us. A high value woman try to indulge in high vibrational behaviour. Being clear about our values, standing firm in our beliefs, being truthful and honest, owning our mistakes are basically enhances our value.
7. Protecting the Energy/Having Solid Boundaries
When we look at the things from energy perspective, we understand who gets to have the access to our energy and who doesn’t. We automatically ends up setting boundaries and not giving the energy to those who don’t align with us. It doesn’t mean that we are arrogant or rude, it just means that we have a better understanding of what are the things and people who are good for us and who are not.
8. Empowering other Women
A high value woman doesn’t bring other woman down.
“An empowered woman empowers other women”
All of us, women, are more alike of each other. It’s such a beautiful thing that we are all like other girls. Because when we are out in a crowd, we can always look to other woman, pass a smile and know we are not alone in this world.
So, I completely understand, it’s not easy to completely follow what’s written above, (not for me as well). But remember, life is a journey, a journey of continuous learning, improvement and growth. Enjoy the process, not the result itself.
